I AM HOME

by Judith Bakkensen

After all these years of living in a blur of apartments, I finally have my own home.  The walls, floors and ceilings are quiet.  I do not feel alone, however, because my head is buzzing with the hundreds of tasks I want to do as soon as I get the key.  Signing the papers were torture.  Getting the key was the payoff.  I've collected paint and wall paper and spent more money than I thought I could to create this dream of mine. 

In creating this dream, I am letting go of another.  The traditional story of meeting "The Right Man", marrying, buying a house, having a family has dimmed for me.  In my late thirties, I have to move on and create my own home.  For years I have saved and waited.  Now I am moving into my own home.  I have three weeks to scrape, paint and move in.  I have taken my first long vacation in years.  I will immerse myself in my creation of home. 

Holding my key, I walk into each room.  I carry a stick of burning sage in the other hand.  Clearing the energy of this old house is filling my heart.  Now I am finished and I know this home was truly mine.  Already, before the new paint and moving in, it has become home. I see friends at the house blessing.  I see lovers moving in the hall. I see nieces and nephews sitting in my living room.  I see a place to display my art and my books.  My spirit is at peace in this sanctuary, my home. Yeah for me!